1408 - Ian Hates Movies #39

We've only just begun...

If you didn't get that, you certainly will when you listen to this volume of Ian Hates Movies! Ian and Kelly kill this one...literally! Finally, it's a good Stephen King adaptation! And, fun fact, it's the second Stephen King adaptation starring John Cusack and Sam Jackson Ian and Kelly have discussed. We won't talk about the one again...but you can figure it out by going through the archives, haha. 1408 also has one of Ian's favorite horror movie scenes of all time! So knuckle up because this is going to be a fun one! Does Ian Hate 1408...

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All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Long days and pleasant nights.

The Amityville Horror (2005) - Ian Hates Movies #38

The clock says 3:15 AM so that means something bad is about to happen...that's why it's time for another Ian Hates Movies! It's the horror movie time of year, so Ian and Kelly wanted to start with something that was pretty damn funny...and sexy...hahaha, The Amityville Horror remake from 2005! Now, you all know how Ian feels about remakes and reboots, but do you know how he feels about ghosts and haunted houses? If you don't, you certainly will soon! Does Ian Hates The Amityville Horror (2005)...

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music, and any of your favorite podcast listening apps!

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Long days and pleasant nights.

The Devil's Advocate - Ian Hates Movies #37

Another show 19 years in the making as Ian and Kelly talk The Devil's Advocate on Ian Hates Movies! This is a downright classic and how can it not be with Keanu Reeves, Al Pacino, and Charlize Theron? Ian and Kelly know you've already seen this movie, so now's your chance to listen! Why give everything away here?

"It’s the goof of all time. Look, but don’t touch. Touch, but don’t taste. Taste, don’t swallow. And while you’re jumpin’ from one foot to the next, what is he doin’? He’s laughin’ his sick, fuckin’ ass off. He’s a tight-ass. He’s a sadist. He’s an absentee landlord. Worship that? Never!"

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music, and any of your favorite podcast listening apps!

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Long days and pleasant nights.

Basic - Ian Hates Movies #36

Ian has nothing to say about this movie except that it is 'Basic' in every sense of the word. He told me I could write something witty, but there's not really anything to say about this terrible movie, haha. Just listen to this record setting episode of Ian Hates Movies! What record did it set? It's the shortest episode of the show ever! Hahaha.

WARNING: It is not recommended to play any drinking game for this volume of Ian Hates movies, especially drinking every time Ian sighs on air. This happens so often because of how disappointed he is in Kelly, that a game like that would be very detrimental to your health. Please do not attempt!

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music, and any of your favorite podcast listening apps!

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Long days and pleasant nights.

Ian Hates Movies #35 (Frailty)

Ian and Kelly are back, and Kelly is in the good ol' US of A for a new week and a new type of movie! This time, it's Bill Paxton's directorial debut, Frailty (2001...or 2002...no one knows...)! You're going to be surprised by the reaction of Ian and Kelly. This one is a shocker! Listen as Ian and Kelly take you through a reality in Texas where Bill Paxton wields an axe named 'Otis' to destroy demons and Mathew McConaughey keeps his shirt on...THE ENTIRE MOVIE!!!! And this is an old movie in the days where that NEVER happened! Let's not give everything away here. Listen in and listen up! Does Ian Hate Frailty...

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music, and any of your favorite podcast listening apps!

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Long days and pleasant nights.

Ian Hates Movies Volume #34 (Face Off)

You read that right! Nothing great out there in theaters right now and Face Off (1997) was made for Ian Hates Movies! You're thinking more, why haven't Ian and Kelly done this sooner! Well, with so many great, new movies coming out...hahaha, couldn't get through that sentence! It's just time, let's leave it at that. Ian and Kelly tackle this classic movie starring Ian Hates Movie alumni Nicolas Cage and newbie John Travolta, but also directed by John Woo! Wow, this is gonna be good! Prepare to feel the face waterfalls through your ear holes! That. Sounds. Gross. Well, it looks gross too! Just listen and you'll understand. Does Ian Hate Face Off...

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music, and any of your favorite podcast listening apps!

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

And yes, Kelly is doing the show from Japan so her connection isn't going to always be great...she's in fucking Japan! Haha.

Long days and pleasant nights.

Ian Hates Movies Volume #33 (Circle)

Ian and Kelly are back and changing things up a bit. This time, after all the summer blockbusters, Ian and Kelly decided to go with a movie no where near as well known. That movie is Circle (2015). Ian and Kelly don't want to give anything away here, but sufficed to say, it's definitely different than anything they've talked about in the past! Get ready for some philosophical conversations! HELL YEAH! Does Ian Hate Circle...

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music, and any of your favorite podcast listening apps!

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Long days and pleasant nights.

Ian Hates Movies Volume #32 (Suicide Squad)

You knew Ian and Kelly would be talking Suicide Squad. Since the first teaser trailer was shown, they were on it. Even after everyone found out it was going to be rated PG-13, they were still there. You know the "controversies", the "boycotts", the editing of Joker, and all the rest. Now, listen to Ian and Kelly talk every part of Suicide Squad and let you know the full story. No agendas, just talk. No giving away anything here, we're not as transparent as Harley Quinn's clothing...get it?!?!?!?!? Anyway...Does Ian Hate Suicide Squad...

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music, and any of your favorite podcast listening apps!

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Ian Hates Movies Volume #31 (The Sandlot Trilogy)

The summer movie series continues on Ian Hates Movies and not only that, it continues with our 90s nostalgia expert Tristan! For this volume, it's The Sandlot Trilogy! What a way to close things out! I know what you're thinking...there were three? Oh yes, but Ian and Tristan will be focusing on The Sandlot (the best) and only slightly mentioning all the rest. Don't just recapture your childhood with The Sandlot, hear about Ian and Tristan's while laughing along with the guys at Smalls, The Great Hambino, The Beast, and of course, Wendy Peffercorn (swoons)...No more giving away anything here. Take a walk through the past in a simpler time with Ian and Tristan as they explore the world of The Sandlot. Does Ian Hate The Sandlot Trilogy...

Tristan has a 90's nostalgia blog he'd like you to check out! It's located here and he knows what he's talking about:

www.thankguapoits90s.squarespace.com

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music, and any of your favorite podcast listening apps!

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Long days and pleasant nights.

Ian Hates Movies Volume #30 (The Mighty Ducks Trilogy)

Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! FLYING V!!!!!

That could only mean one thing...Hello all and welcome to the Ian Hates Movies summer movie series! What's that dumb, cliche saying...when the Kelly is away the boys will play...that's just dumb, forget that, haha. You know it's going to be good though when Ian invites 90's nostalgia expert blogger Tristan, to join Ian Hates Movies to talk The Mighty Ducks Trilogy (if you didn't get that from the quacks already)! That's right everyone, D1, D2, AND D3...but they mostly focus on D2 (the best one), but don't fret, they hit on everything else too so never you worry!

Ducks fly together! Ok, enough, save it for the show! Does Ian Hate The Mighty Ducks Trilogy...

It's a little ironic that on a show where Kelly is gone, Ian does the first and only Disney movie on Ian Hates Movies! You can make fun of her when she gets back! 

Tristan has a 90's nostalgia blog he'd like you to check out! It's located here:

www.thankguapoits90s.squarespace.com

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Long days and pleasant nights.

And Because she's one of Ian's first loves...

Ian Hates Movies Volume #29 (Starship Troopers)

I can tell you this, Ian is way more happy this week for Ian Hates Movies, haha! Do you know why? It's because Ian and returning special guest Mandy (who read the book!) are talking the 1997 classic/cult-classic/satire Starship Troopers! It's pretty fitting being almost 20 years old and with rumors of a possible TV show/remake in the works. What's also great about this movie is that it may be one of the most misunderstood movies of a generation. Why? Listen in to see. You'll enjoy what you hear! Ian doesn't want everything given away in the description, what fun would that be? Does Ian Hates Starship Troopers...

Kelly will be back on the show soon! She did not quit! She's a very important person and has to take a few weeks off to jet set around the world!

Ian Hates Movies Volume #28 (Cell)

You read that right. Ian and Kelly did NOT watch and review the Jennifer Lopez Sci-Fi thriller from 2000 (where Inception ripped off their idea from)...It's actually JUST Cell, the 2016 adaptation of Stephen King's novel of the same name. It stars Samuel L Jackson and John Cusack, but you'd never know how good they are by watching this "movie". That's all Ian and Kelly will give you on this one, because you really have to hear it to believe it. Don't watch it, that's for sure, haha. Just let Ian and Kelly be the martyrs for this one! Ian will also do comparisons between the book and the movie giving you a whole other reason to hate this movie, haha. Does Ian Hate Cell...

Disclaimer: Ian loves Stephen King so much that doing this show really hurts him, but this is what Ian has to do. It must be done for the good of everyone!

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Ian Hates Movies Volume #27 (The Purge: Election Year)

This is not a test. This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of Ian Hates Movies sanctioned by the U.S. Government. Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during Ian Hates Movies. All other weapons are restricted. For the first time since its' inception, no one has immunity from Ian Hates Movies. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning until 7 a.m., when Ian Hates Movies concludes. Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and America, a nation reborn. May God be with you all.

Oh you know what that means! Purge and purify! Ian and Kelly have their weapons at the ready in case their verbal barrage doesn't get the job done as they debate the movie The Purge: Election Year! Now, if you listened to previous volumes of Ian Hates Movies, then you know their feelings going into this end of the trilogy. Did The Purge end things well? Is there room for sequels or prequels? What are Kelly's thoughts...oh we'll get to those! Haha. Ian and Kelly don't want to give everything away here, so prepare to purge for the third time and listen to Ian Hates Movies! Have some fun already!

Blessed be our New Founding Fathers for letting us Purge and cleanse our souls. Blessed be America, a nation reborn.

Does Ian Hate The Purge: Election Year...

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Ian Hates Movies Volume #26 (Independence Day: Resurgence)

This volume of Ian Hates Movies was twenty years in the making...just like Independence Day: Resurgence apparently...but seriously, how could you tell? I guess it takes longer than 20 years to make a script...Let's not give everything away here, but if you passed on Independence Day: Resurgence (maybe because of the terrible reviews...), but you still want to know what happens AND get some comedy that was glaringly absent from the movie, then you should listen to this volume of Ian Hates Movies! On top of that, Ian and Kelly welcome a special guest who's all time favorite movie is the original Independence Day! Subject matter aside, everyone has a really good time discussing so many aspects of Independence Day: Regurgitation and laughing and laughing!

It's the Fourth of July, let's show 'em some Ian Hates Movies fireworks!

Does Ian Hates Independence Day: Resurgence...

Ian Hates Movies Volume #25 (The Purge and The Purge: Anarchy)

This is not a test. This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of Ian Hates Movies sanctioned by the U.S. Government. Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during Ian Hates Movies. All other weapons are restricted. Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from Ian Hates Movies and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning until 7 a.m., when Ian Hates Movies concludes. Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and America, a nation reborn. May God be with you all.

Ok, Ian and Kelly couldn't help themselves, haha. In this new volume of Ian Hates Movies it's a two-for-one deal! That's right, Ian and Kelly will venture into The Purge and The Purge: Anarchy! Whom will make it out alive...Probably Kelly. This is all in anticipation for the 3rd installment of the series, The Purge: Election Year. Very aptly titled you must agree. Be warned, Kelly needs to "purge" her sinuses with all the pollen affecting her voice! By the time this long episode is over, Ian was probably affected as well! We must purge to cleanse our souls...

Blessed be our New Founding Fathers for letting us Purge and cleanse our souls. Blessed be America, a nation reborn.

Does Ian Hate The Purge and The Purge: Anarchy...The answer may surprise you...

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Ian Hates Movies Volume #24 (Independence Day)

Ok, so Ian and Kelly dedicating an entire volume of Ian Hates Movies to the original Independence Day is as ridiculous as say, someone having and executing the idea to make a sequel 20 years later...oh wait...Independence Day: Resurgence is a thing that's coming out really soon...well I guess they might as well do the original and then the sequel right? I'm sure Ian is happy about that! Listen in as Ian and Kelly prepare for the Resurgence by dissecting (Just like Data did to that alien dude Will Smith knocked out) ID4! Does this 20 year old movie hold up? Was it even good to begin with? All these answers and tangents galore (including a tease of the new podcast Ian Loves Relationships) in this episode of Ian Hates Movies! Does Ian Hate Independence Day...

All sound bites or film clips are exclusive property of their respective owners and are in no way affiliated with Ian Hates Podcast or its' sponsors. They are used here for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy!

Ian Hates Movies Volume #23 (X-Men: Apocalypse)

Apocalypse is upon us! Is it because of zombies? Nope. Your worst presidential candidate got the nod? Nope. Oh I know...it's because of a terrible movie! Righty-O it is! If you haven't guessed it already, Ian and Kelly are talking X-Men: Apocalypse! That's now the 6th X-Men movie in the franchise and this one is almost the worst! That's really saying something (and Ian and Kelly are not counting the Wolverine movies...). Still better than batman v. superman at least! Ian and Kelly make the best of it though. Tangents that include Dragonball Z and a debate about Rose McGowan's feeling on marketing are all included! It's just too bad that Professor X didn't read Apocalypse's mind and find out if their mother's names were the same...that could have saved some major incidents and probably millions of lives!

Don't forget to subscribe/rate/share on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music, or any of your other favorite podcast listening apps!

Does Ian Hate X-Men: Apocalypse...

Ian Hates Movies Volume #22 (The 5th Wave)

Welcome to Ian Hates Movies and The 5th Wave! 97% of population has been wiped out and the remaining children are being trained by aliens to kill off what's left of humans. Sound interesting but convoluted? Well that's only if you read the book (which Ian did), but if you watched the movie you can take the 'interesting' part away, haha. Unfortunately, this is a case of another translation issue from book to film. Ian and Kelly compare and contrast while also going off on tangents! Of course! Get ready for another YA (young adult) novel with a female lead and some almost love triangles. You're not bored of that predictable formula yet right? Don't forget to review/subscribe/share on iTunes/Stitcher/Google Play Music or any of your favorite podcast listening apps! Does Ian Hate The 5th Wave...

Ian Hates Movies Volume #21 (Goosebumps)

Yeah, no, I know what you're thinking. We're not necessarily reviewing books on Ian Hates Movies. Maybe someday there will be an Ian Hates Books, but that day is not today! Instead, Ian and Kelly are talking Goosebumps the movie starring Jack Black. I know what you're thinking again, but you're going to have to tune in to see if Jack Black has ruined another franchise, haha. Now, of course the books come up, Ian can't help himself. That's just the way it is. Hopefully you'll remember some of the Goosebumps classics because they definitely comes up! Let's just say that maybe Slappy (don't call him a 'dummy'...) shows up! Take that with you to your dreams! Don't forget to review/share/subscribe on iTunes/Stitcher/Google Play Music or any of your favorite podcast listening apps! Does Ian Hate Goosebumps...

Ian Hates Movies Volume #20 (Twister)

Did you know that Twister came out 20 years ago? Oh yeah, that's why Ian and Kelly are talking about it on Ian Hates Movies! Otherwise we'd just start mistaking Bill Paxton movies for Bill Pullman movies like everyone else! You've most likely seen Twister before, so there's really no intro to do, but you know you haven't EXPERIENCED Twister until Ian and Kelly have told you the tale! Tangents and tornadoes you say? Oh my yes! That's what these guys are known for. Hey guys, I think Ian Hates Movies is coming right for us...IT'S ALREADY HERE! See what I did there...you get it. Don't forget to share, review, and subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music, and any of your favorite podcast listening apps! Does Ian Hate Twister...